Tips For Finding The Perfect Gift

Considering that Christmas is just around the corner, I’ve received quite a few messages asking what to buy for that special someone. While most questions have come from my female readers and viewers, there have been more then a handful of men who just don’t know what to buy, and more importantly – what to keep in mind when shopping.

With those kind gentlemen in mind, I thought I’d create a list of tips and suggestions to help you shop for that special lady in your life.

I would have made one for the girls too, but to be honest, all the women that wrote me already had a good idea of what their partner had his or her eye on, they just wanted to make sure to get something that’s quality and worth the money.

Now that I’ve got that out of the way and we all know where this post is heading, here’s my personal suggestions…

It’s Easier Than You Think

Take The Hint: The best advice I can give is to listen to your partner, if she say’s she’d like a specific product, your only struggle should be to find it at a good price and in a color she likes. If on the other hand she’s hinted that she might like to try something new, think about products that aren’t intimidating, are easy to use, last for a while, don’t look cheap or cheesy and are made from body safe material. With that in mind, there are many products for under $20.00 that will do the job – to view a list of my personal faves, click here.

*If you don’t know how to go about picking out a product, you can read my post on “How to Choose a Sex Toy”.

Quality over Quantity: I highly suggest you stay away from “cheap” or poorly made products as they’ll likely do more damage than good. When picking out a product, try to stick with 100% Silicone (not a rubber silicone blend), Glass, Aluminum, Stainless Steel, VixSkin, TPE/Elastomer, Wood, TPR or ones made of hard Plastic. Sure they’re a little more expensive (in some cases) but they’ll last longer, be better quality and won’t do any lasting damage.

*To learn more about the dangers of sexual wellness products check out my post on phthalates and jelly toys here.

Slippery When Wet: If you’re buying lube, or any kind of flavored product for that matter, make sure to buy ones that are sugar free and have a low consistency of glycerin. I know I’ve said it before but products with either of the above ingredients could cause a yeast infection – talk about the gift that keeps on giving! Also on that note, make sure that what you’re buying is condom compatible and meant for what you want – there is a big difference between flavored massage oils and water based lubes.

Bringing Sexy Back: If there is one thing I advise against, it’s buying lingerie as a gift. Sure it’s sexy, thoughtful and usually done with good taste, but due to the different sizing charts manufacturers use, a possible 34A in one size could be a 36C in another – leaving her in something that’s ill fitting and possibly makes her feel uncomfortable. My advice; try to keep in mind that very often lingerie is NOT refundable or exchangeable so what you buy, you’re pretty much stuck with – even if it doesn’t fit. If you are going to go against my advice and buy lingerie, go for a “one size fits all” piece, take her favorite colors into consideration (not yours) and ask the store you’re shopping in if you can mix and match the bottoms for a different size.

*I suggest that last piece of advice because contrary to what designers think, very often our bodies on top are different then on the bottom, making a person a possible large bootied bottom with a tiny top or vice versa. The opportunity to mix and match tops and bottoms can make a huge difference between her feeling sexy or inadequate.

K.I.S.S: This last piece of advice is one my grandmother always used to reference (though I’m sure she never thought it would end up on the pages of a sexual wellness blog . Contrary to what you might think, “KISS” doesn’t refer to actual kissing, it’s actually an acronym for the saying “Keep it simple, stupid!”, and while it’s not the most thoughtful of sayings, it is something that can help make your shopping excursion a stress free one. My advice: stick with products that are easy to operate, don’t have a bunch of buttons, are discretely and respectfully packaged, come with an instruction manual and if possible, read the product reviews to see if the product you’re thinking of is really worth it. If the product has lots of bad reviews, look for something else. Trust me on this one.

Final Thoughts

Shopping for someone else can be a very overwhelming experience, especially when it’s in regard to a “private” personal item meant to be shared in a very intimate way. Whether it’s a vibrator, dildo, massage product or adult kit designed to be used by the two of you, following the above tips should go a long way for helping to make the process not only easier, but much more fun!

If you’re looking for last minute affordable stocking stuffer ideas or gifts for that special lady click the pictures below.

Stocking Stuffer Ideas

Gifts For Her

Goodbye YouTube

If you’re reading this you most likely already know about the recent developments regarding my leaving YouTube. For those of you that don’t, I thought I’d inform you of what has recently transpired so you’ll understand where I’m coming from and hopefully get why I’ve made the decision to move on.

When I first began making videos 3 1/2 years ago there were no problems. I could upload anything relating to Sex Ed that I wanted and no one removed it. Sure, there were certain things I had to keep in mind; no swearing, background music, nudity, hateful content, violence, bullying or copyrighted material, but all of those “rules” were understandable and one’s I was more then willing to adhere to.

Unfortunately things have changed over the last year and YouTube just isn’t the open minded, judgment free, uncensored site it used to be.

Beginning early November 2009, quite a few of my videos were removed from the site due to claims the material was “content inappropriate”. What that means, I have no idea. Considering that the videos removed were strictly educational, showed no nudity, had no swearing, didn’t infringe on anyone’s rights and were done in a professional and responsible manner, it honestly made no sense to me, and still doesn’t.

It was this first set of removals that started my fight against YouTube, a situation that lead to over 200 written emails sent their way by subscribers and viewers alike, along with a signed petition that’s currently over 1,930 people strong.

After the influx of mail YouTube received, the removal of my videos stopped and things returned to “normal”. I was once again able to post content without fear or worry of rejection and you, the viewer, were able to learn from a source you had come to rely on and trust.

Sadly, YouTube has gone back to its old ways and removed 8 new videos, along with 22 older videos over the course of the last two months, some within a matter of hours.

Why, I honestly have no idea.

To date, I have not received ONE email or message to inform me about the removal of my videos, why they were removed or a way to appeal the removal. All I get is a message on the page where the previous video could be viewed that reads: “This video has been removed because its content violated YouTube’s Terms of Service.” (as shown below)

YouTube removal message

On that note, I also haven’t received a reply to any of the polite and respectful, if inquisitive, 25 messages I’ve sent YouTubes way over the last year regarding my Sex Ed 102 channel. If I said their customer service was below par, it would be an understatement.

If you’re wondering why I’d be so upset, it’s rather straightforward:

Over the past 3 1/2 years I’ve been a loyal and dedicated content provider within the YouTube community. I’ve spend countless hours researching information, talking to doctors and nurses, studying statistics and attending courses on subjects viewers have asked about. I’ve worked to the best of my ability to present videos that are not only educational, but one’s viewers could laugh with and relate to. I’ve spent time answering some of the 50+ questions a day I receive from my YouTube inbox alone, hoping that somewhere along the way I’d eased someone’s fears, educated them, and/or encouraged them to make a conscious decision to be safer, smarter and more aware with the choices they make. As I’ve said in many videos, sex is not a game and unfortunately does come with consequences – consequences you deserve to know and learn about.

With that in mind, no matter what anyone says comprehensive Sex Ed is a vital part of a persons well being and overall health; learning about STD’s, the different methods of protection, the male and female anatomy, how to communicate with your partner, different sexual wellness products and everything else that comes with being sexually active is of utmost importance – being educated just could save your life.

I know to most people the videos I create come across as easy, like there is nothing to them and I shoot them in a matter of minutes. However, and contrary to that assumption, each video made requires hours of research, scripting (to make sure I don’t leave anything out), filming, editing, uploading, answering of questions, monitoring of comments and linking to numerous social media outlets to make sure everyone that wants to, gets to see it.

To put things into perspective: each 10 minute video that I upload takes12+ hours to create. Guess it’s like they say, “there’s no rest for the wicked”.

That said, every time a video is removed it’s like a cold hard slap in the face from the same people that once allowed me to upload videos without a second glance. The same people who 2 years ago had a moderator respond to a question I asked, letting me know I COULD create videos so long as I respected the “rules” I mentioned above . The same people who advertise the site as a place where ANYONE can upload videos. The same people who say they “encourage free speech and defend everyone’s right to express unpopular points of view”. The same people who make handfuls of cash off content providers like me.

I might not be a Partner with the company (because they won’t accept me, I’ve applied over 12 times) but I DO bring thousands of viewers to the site every time I upload a video. Maybe it’s just me, but that SHOULD count for something.

*On the topic of Partnership and being rejected – according to YouTube “advertisers don’t want to advertise against content that isn’t family friendly”. Yeah, right.

Unfortunately none of the effort I’ve put in matters to the folks at the company. To them what I do is “inappropriate”. Your safety and well being don’t matter. Helping you make conscious and responsible decisions doesn’t matter and allowing you to learn from my videos isn’t something they want you doing. The removal of my videos is proof of that.

What’s more, they’ve decided that you, as a grown adult, shouldn’t be able to choose what you wish to view or who you wish to learn from. They’ve taken away your ability to view videos on a platform you’ve come to trust and in my humble opinion, they’ve done a damn good job of deceiving you and making you think it’s a site for everyone, when clearly it’s not.

For those of you that are going to make the argument that children use the site and therefore my videos SHOULD be removed, I have two responses:

1.) No child should EVER be on a computer unsupervised. Between the pedophiles lurking on the web, pornography that can be easy found and viewed, cyber bullying and number of viruses crawling around, leaving children on the web unattended is just a bad idea. Period.

2.) YouTube has the ability to make videos viewable by those 18+ ONLY, they’ve done it with numerous videos in the past and they continue doing it to others even now. It’s one easy way for them to limit what children find and still allow adults to learn about adult topics in a safe and responsible environment. Problem solved.

As for my leaving, it’s rather simple: I no longer feel any need to continue bringing thousands of viewers to their site if they can’t answer one simple email, give me one legitimate reason as to why my videos are removed, or offer a way to appeal their decision.

With that said, I’m moving on.

From now on I will be uploading content to my Blip.Tv account ONLY. There will be no new links, posts or videos on YouTube anymore. What’s the point? they’ll just get removed in a matter of hours anyways.

If you’d like to continue watching and learning, I suggest you either add me on twitter or facebook (and tolerate my babbling on each site) as the videos I create will ALWAYS be linked on both of my accounts.

Twitter link: twitter.com/Kara_Sutra

Facebook link: facebook.com/Kara.Sutra

If you’d like to help me fight the censorship, removal of videos and work to have the ones that were removed reinstated, please either leave a comment below or message me on facebook, I’ll gladly provide you with the information you need to help. Please also realize that this isn’t me quitting making videos, this is me not giving YouTube any NEW content until the issues are resolved. If we can make a change happen I will more than gladly go back.

To those of you that have continued to help, stood behind me during the battle and fought beside me in this ordeal – if it wasn’t for people like you I would have probably quit long ago. You are a continual sense of inspiration for me and a force that pushes me beyond the limits that even I think I can handle. I sincerely thank you for that! ♥

I hope you can understand the choices I made and not hold them against me. I also hope you will continue to stand behind me and support what I’m trying to do where censorship of Sex Ed is concerned – not just for me, but for those viewers who need it most. For some, their life might just depend on it.

See you on the battlefield

Much Love

Kara_Sutra

How to Choose a Sex Toy

Picking your first toy can be extremely frustrating, overwhelming and scary. As someone who worked in a sex shop…trust me I know, I’ve heard it 1000 times.

That said, if you follow these few short suggestions when it comes to choosing, you can not only make the experience fun, but one that’s quite gratifying as well.

Steps for Buying Sex Toys

1.) Intended Use

The first thing you want to figure out is the products intended use: what do you want to use it for and who will be using it?

By determining whether you want a toy that stimulates the Anus, Nipples, Clitoris, G-Spot (or both) you can narrow down your search in very big ways.

Once you’ve answered the first questions you want to look at who will be using it. If its a toy for use by only you the options are pretty much based on what you like.

However, if it’s a gift for someone else please keep in mind that buying sex toys for another person is a very personal thing. Some questions you might want to ask yourself before shopping; are they comfortable with toys, open to experimentation, have used them before and whether or not they have any specific likes in terms of color, shape or design. Any little personal details you can add will more often then not make a world of difference for the receiver.

2.)Function

The next thing you want to look at is the function; what do you want the product to do for you?

When making this decision you want to think about the type of stimulation you want, light/indirect or moderate/direct stimulation?

A tried and true vibrator can be a good stimulator, helping you achieve orgasm by yourself or with a partner, or simply to massage aching muscles.

If you like the feeling of vibrations on your clitoris you might want to look at a bullet. They are smaller in design, usually come in a variety of vibrations and specifically meant to stimulate this area.

If you enjoy deep, hard pressure, penetration or the feeling of having something inside you a non vibrating dildo might be a good choice.

Perhaps you would like a combination of the two, if so a dual vibrator with multiple functions might be something to think about.

3.) Style

If you’ve ever been in a toy store, online shop or novelty store you’d know that the market is flooded with products in various shapes, sizes, colors and styles. Since there are so many the next question you should ask yourself is; what you want your toy to look like?

Do you want your vibrator or dildo to look real? If so, there are several available in the “ultra-realistic” category that look exactly like a real penis. They are often formed from a cast, which was taken of a real penis. They are colored to look like a penis, and include all the veins and ridges a real penis would have. They are usually made from silicone, UR3 or Cyberskin, which are the most realistic looking and feeling materials available.

On the other side of the spectrum, there are vibrators and dildos that look nothing like a real penis, instead resembling dragons, gnomes, worms and astrological symbols to name a few. They may have a phallic shape, but can be brightly colored in all kinds of different shades. Instead of ridges and bumps, they have smooth shafts.

Think about what would turn you on the most. Some people prefer the realistic adult toys, and some do not. It’s just a matter of preference.

Mens Toys

Unfortunately, Men have traditionally been “left out” when it comes to sex toys, but this seems to be changing. Of course, erection pumps have been available for quite some time, but that was about it. Thankfully with an increase in demand, a curiosity of their own and amazing toys like the Fleshlight being made, Men can now enjoy sleeves (which are designed to enhance masturbation), cock rings (which help control erection by slipping tightly over the penis), ticklers (which slip over the penis to heighten pleasure for the user and their partner), and extenders (which extend the length of the penis).

4.) Materials

Unfortunately the adult novelty industry doesn’t have a “quality control board” to approve or deny the manufacture of products, leading to some that are made containing very harmful chemicals like phthalates that can reek havoc on your body and the environment. That said, if there is one suggestion that I advise you take into great consideration, its the material your toy is made out of.

Fortunately, with the rise in consumer awareness more and more companies are opting to make toys out of materials like silicone and TPR, that are not only environmentally friendly, but also safe for use in regard to your body.

Aside from the basic health concerns, it is also important to know that different materials perform differently. Some may be chilled (or warm up with use) for the enjoyment of the user, others may allow a harder/softer surface area for stimulation, while others may not be good for use with certain types of lubricants.

Generally speaking, sex toys are made out of plastic, silicone, glass, jelly, latex, metal, Cyberskin, acrylic, etc. and each material has different characteristics and different cleaning requirements, something that may require the unexpected purchase of other items like antibacterial toy cleaner or corn starch.

As I said, when making a decision about a toy the material is a very important factor.

5.) Price

The last thing you want to think about is how much you want to spend.

I realize that for most people spending over $50.00 on a toy may seem a little unreasonable but keep in mind that as it is in most industries, some companies focus on manufacturing high volume, lower priced products. Unfortunately very often these types of products are of poor quality and break down very quickly, not to mention can end up doing more harm then good to both your body and the environment. That said, with a rise in standards more and more companies like Tantus are beginning to produce higher quality, environmentally friendly, longer lasting products.

With the amount of products that I am personally exposed to, I believe it is in your best interest to buy the highest quality adult toys you can afford. However, if you are unsure of a particular type of toy, you many want to experiment with a lower price model to see if you like it. Just bear in mind you might end up buying it again in a higher quality if you do like it.

Hopefully but following this list of suggestions you’ll not only be able to find a toy thats right for you, but one that will last for years to come offering many hours of enjoyment!

hope that helped

Kara_Sutra